He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
