Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
