Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize