We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
