I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
