I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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