on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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