I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
