you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
