He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
