Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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