went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We're too hungover to prance.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
