6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
