U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize