In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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