i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He told me they were just razor bumps!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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