We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
