Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize