Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
