OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
