i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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