we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
