Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
