dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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