So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
