I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
