She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
