have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
