did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
pop tarts are not kleenex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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