it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
