I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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