Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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