nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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