I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Dear god my vagina.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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