You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The best revenge is premature balding
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
