And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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