oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
