I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
