I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
