Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
