I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
