Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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