the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
