idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
