just come out here and I will go home with you...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize