Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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