worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
