Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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