Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
