You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
