I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Life is so much better after having sex.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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