i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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