He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize