she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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