It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I am in a vortex of obligation.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
