I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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