dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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