For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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