Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
