this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
