so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
