Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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