I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
