this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
