Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
false alarm, still single
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize