So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
