you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
