Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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